User blog:InfamousONLY/House vs. Hippocrates! Epic Rap Battles of History
Nice Peter as Gregory House EpicLLOYD as Hippocrates of Cos (Electrocardiogram of the normal heart beating shows off with typical sounds) Epic Rap Battles of History! Hippocrates of Cos! VS Gregory House! (House) I will here today treat you hereby to death Punched with my diagnoses - you'll soon be out of your breath! Primum non nocere? Who cares about your lines? Your oath is a bullshit since everybody lies! I’ll take my handy whiteboard and smack this medical aberration Make you feel like med student on Anatomy examination Then I order MRI, some X-rays and lumbar punction And diagnose your differentially as an antique obsolation! I'm an amoral doctor with outstanding results Your moral dilemmas bring only death accounts You treat your patients well, while you just watch how they die? I guess it's highest time to call you Mr. Hypocrite! (Hippocrates) As for me, you don’t deserve to be called physician, Greg Cause that title’s too high for a nasty junkie jerk You don't treat people, House, you just only make a shot Your patients do not die only due to unreal plot! From the Father of Medicine - what else have you expected? For over two millennia doctors used what I’ve invented! You’re a shitty MC, and a crazy M.D. For me, you are just a Medical Failure – M.F., see? Such famous diagnostician, but a lousy teacher You couldn’t even teach Hugh Laurie what could cause him a seizure! Your episodes - so schematic, I’m just bored from déjà vu! When I want a solution, I skip to the minute thirty three! But come closer now cause I see you’ve got pain problem I'll treat your leg, House, but there won’t be drugs to solve it! (House) Oh, shut up, you idiot, don’t flatter yourself, Greek! Single antibiotic saved more lifes than you did! Ethics won’t ever get your patient regenerated Your faith in humanity is clearly overrated You’re not even as humourous as you believed you’ve been (see note about humours below, it's very important to understand this fully) You’re just a little phlegmatic with no jokes on the scene! You think you won the crowd with that speeches of yours? They’re forgotten, mine are fresh & burning anybody to toast! My worthness is impeccable, Cuddy would agree on that For she turned down for me one hundred million dollars, mad? (Hippocrates) Could you use, please, one phrase, that is really yours? Cause from what I’ve heard, they’re just David Shore’s! Back in my time, I got the hundreds of followers with ease While you’ve got only prostitutes and a Wilson’s disease! Your story became bullshit as the seasons has progressed You were in Mayfield and a jail, yet you’re still medically licensed! Now I think it's time to push my "Trittered" switch To surely make you join with your Cutthroat Bitch! You won't find your lupus here, wanna-be sociopath Go play with your ball or bleed to death in your bath! (House) Oh yes. your balls..... (House become silent and just walk out of the battle, leaving Hippocrates confused) (Same electrocardiogram shows off again. This time beating is much faster, one beating per word, the pauses between are shorter and shorter) Epic! Rap! Battles! (two beats) Of! His-to-ry! (three beats) (After which beating stops and flatline appears with characteristic sound) What do you think of that scenario? (I know the idea alone has became infamous already) *About humours: Hippocrates believed the human body is made of four humours: black bile (melancholy), yellow bile (chole), phlegm, and blood. Each one correspond to one of the four temperaments : blood - sanguine, phlegm - phlegmatic, yellow bile - choleric and black bile - melancholic. He thought also, that all diseases are consequence of the imbalance between humours. Hippocrates was known to make speeches, which is not a common knowledge. This makes these four verses really burning puns. Why? Here we have multiple - entendre: 1)House states, that Hippocrates is wrong, since body is not made of the humours, hence he is not as humourous as he believed he has been. 2)Additionally, Hippocrates wasn't the type of merry, lively person, who jokes often (today meaning of "humourous"), but was calm, meticulous and pedantic, which are assosiated with phlegmatic temperament, so he is "just a little phlegmatic with no jokes on the scene", opposed to House, whose sarcasm can be really funny, when he does it "on the scene", meaning on screen in his TV series. 3)Moreover, House by stating Hippocrates is "just a little phlegmatic" states he only has one temperament (corresponded to only one humour) and thus he is imbalanced, telling Hippocrates indirectly, that he is sick. House often explaned diseases in the funny way, using analogies, before he used medical terms, so he tells it, using analogy to humour. 4)Hippocrates was known to make speeches, which is not a common knowledge. House tells then, that his speeches are forgotten, while his, often sarcastic, are known much more, so, in fact, House "won the crowd" with his "speeches" instead of Hippocrates. Category:Blog posts